Does kindness have a place at work? Someone told me recently that for a man to be told he is “kind” is an insult to his manliness! Even more at work, the typical image of a successful business executive is anything but kind. So is this a fruit of the Spirit that we should leave at home?
I see kindness as being considerate of the other person – their feelings and their circumstances – and being prepared to take the time and trouble to empathize, and also to adapt our own communication accordingly. Kindness shows care and concern for another’s situation, and acknowledges their pain and difficulty. This seems to conflict with business goals – getting the most out of employees, insisting on deadlines being met by colleagues, negotiating the best price with a supplier and so on. While we don’t want to be called “ruthless”, we do want to be thought of as effective and results-oriented if we are to advance in our chosen careers.
While this view is widely held, I am convinced it is also false. Jesus was kind and firm at the same time. He communicated very clearly but adapted his communication approach to the situation and the person. Always He considered the person and where they were in life. Contrast, for example, the way He spoke to the Pharisees and the way He spoke to the woman taken in adultery. In the latter case, he acknowledged how harsh her accusers had been, but He was also very clear that she needed to repent – to turn away from her sinful lifestyle. (His conversation with the Samaritan woman was similar in this respect, except that He didn’t need to tell her to stop sinning – she got it on her own). In fact, the kindness of Jesus was more effective than any amount of blunt criticism or ultimatums.
For me, kindness means approaching everyone with consideration of their challenges, their feelings and their capabilities. It doesn’t mean that we avoid difficult conversations (for example a manager still needs to challenge poor performance) but that we value and empathize with the other person. I’m not very good at it. Generally it isn’t what I’ve been taught or have seen modeled over my career (with a few exceptions). It is something I have an ongoing dialogue about with my boss (who doesn’t necessarily share my understanding of the value of kindness in this context, even though in his way he is known as a kind man). Bottom line – I need to get better at it, which means I need to allow the Spirit full sway in my life. Of course that’s the bottom line with all the fruit – more of Him, and less of me.
Quite an interesting subject. Kindness is a great subject in the context of business especially. It's just not a common subject or topic in most circles because of the perception of weakness that is often associated with it. But at the same time it reminds me of a close friend who told me he really believed he needed to be more loving to his wife and family. He went on to explain how he was going to be more deliberate in how he went about showing love etc... At the time I thought, that is really great and it was. Some years later I developed a little different perspective on the subject. I had been learning alot about the fruit of the Spirit. I learned that when I walked by the Spirit, I didn't carry out the desires of my flesh. I also learned that the Fruit of the Spirit was something that occurred 'naturally' when I was waking in dependence upon the Spirit. You see, many times in my life my 'approach' to being more loving or in this case, kind, was to dig in and work harder at it. Be more deliberate and conscientious about it. All seemingly good things but yet were they. You see for me, I was attempting to exhibit that fruit thru the power of my own flesh. It was not a whole lot different that having gone down to the local fruit stand and picked up some nice big oranges. Then going home and 'attaching' them to my orange tree that was barren. You see, they look good for awhile, and they would fool most people, for awhile. And it was fruit. But in these cases it was the fruit of 'my' labor. It's important for us to recognize that the flesh wars against the Spirit. The Father wants us to walk in total dependance upon His Spirit. Then the fruit of the Spirit will be a naturally occuring part of our lives. As we yield to Him and as Graham puts it, "allow the Spirit full sway in my life" then the results will be a naturally occuring 'fruit - filled' life. We need to boycott artificial/flesh attemted fruit in our lives. The real answer for the life of a Believer is one of dependence upon the Lord and not leaning on our own understanding, the thing which got us in trouble in the first place. :)
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