Fruit of the Spirit @ Work – Gentleness

Gentleness is not my strong suit. Ask anyone who knows me. Besides, the times I’ve tried to be gentle with people in the workplace I’ve generally been slapped down by my boss. Is there a place for gentleness at work at all?

When it comes to our behavior at work, this is another counter-cultural, and perhaps even counter-intuitive fruit of the Spirit. After all we are employed to get the most out of people and relationships, and that means being demanding, setting the bar high, expecting a hundred percent (or more!) When someone isn’t performing to our expectations, we need to get tough with them. If someone has problems that are affecting their work, we may show some compassion, but we can’t allow their personal issues to impact our work output.

But gentleness isn’t necessarily counter-productive. I have been in many situations where all that is needed is a soft word, a few minutes of listening, or an understanding smile. Perhaps a colleague’s boss has been particularly tough on them. We may agree with the issue, but we value the person and understand they are hurt – the gentle reassurance may be just what is needed to remedy a situation.

My biggest challenge is as a manager, when a member of staff doesn’t seem to be listening well, or doing what I want, or meeting my expectations. I have a tendency to get frustrated and that leads to anything but gentleness. In an effort to make expectations very clear, I become blunt and formal, rather than seeking to understand and empathize with whatever is going on in the other person. There are times to be direct and firm, but that in no way prevents us from also being gentle. I need to post Ephesians 5:1-2 by my desk: “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

Being gentle doesn’t come naturally to most successful business people – it isn’t what got us where we are. Sometimes we’ve needed to be pretty tough, and we’ve mistaken our resulting success as an indication that gentleness is a sign of weakness. But if we consider Jesus, the gentlest man who ever lived, and also clearly the strongest man who ever lived, gentleness is really a great sign of strength. In fact, that’s one the best definitions I’ve heard: gentleness is “strength under control”, with the other person’s well-being firmly in mind. I pray that the Spirit will help me to exhibit gentleness as we try to work as a team through our current financial, business and legal difficulties. Otherwise people are going to be unnecessarily hurt and everyone will lose.